Monday, September 28, 2009

Sit Through Your Feelings #%@$@!!!!!

I hate it when therapists tell you that the feelings will pass. Even though I know that its true, it still annoys the crap out of me because in the midst of all the pain and agony it feels like it's going to be that way forever. It seems like I should appreciate the reminder that "all things shall pass" but for some reason it just makes me feel worse at the time. Maybe it feels bad because in that moment I can't believe my therapist when she says that.

Even worse than "you won't feel like this forever" (insert: pain, agony, depression, loneliness, shame, whatever your emotion of choice is) is "you just need to sit through the feelings." WTF??!! That's the last thing I want to do. I can't sit through my feelings. Maybe I better rephrase with a more honesty: I won't sit through my feelings. When I have overwhelming emotions I panic and feel like I need to do something to stop the pain right away. The best things that work: the self-destructive things of course. But then there is kick-back because then the negative behaviors make you feel worse later. It's this terrible cycle. Right now, the only thing that can numb the pain is B/Ping. But (could be triggering) I am gaining mucho weight and I am NOT happy about that. In turn it is making me feel exponentially worse for the rest of the time. So it comes down to:

1. B/P and stop the horrific feelings in the moment.

OR

2. Sit through the feelings without B/Ping and feel better the rest of the time.

The choice seems easy, right? Duh, number 2. But when I'm having hard emotions, the urge to binge is out-of-this-world strong. It's like I'm physically and mentally addicted to bingeing. I liken it to trying to stop smoking. Bingeing is addiction. The last few years it's been my drug of choice.

I'm giving myself a big pat on the back though because last night I made it through the agony of my feelings without bingeing for the first time in a looooooong time. Granted, I did call Dr. K sobbing at 11pm. I never truly felt any better, I just cried myself to sleep. And now this morning, the feelings have passed (ok, yes, I will admit it, hmph), but what about tonight? I go through the same thing every night. Will the cycle of pain ever stop? I don't even know what the hell the pain is about. Stupid emotions.

1 comment:

Caitlin said...

sitting through pain is hard - and impossible sometimes. what about a new outlet? how about something that hurts your body in a different way, but really helps your body - like running or biking? i know, not things that you love, but things that would stress your body out and maybe refocus to help you to get through. have you tried running/jogging/walking fast when your hurting lately? i clean (and what i really mean is sanitize) when i'm mad, or hurt. it really calms me down (sometimes it takes a lot of cleaning, though). i used to go to the gym for those feelings, too.

. . . i just think the sitting through part is so much more difficult when you mull through every pain forever without choosing to refocus.