The only productive things I did today were going to therapy and getting an oil change (and no, that's not a metaphor, I really took my car to get an oil change - although I could probably use a metaphorical oil change as well...).
Let's see... therapy... Today was one of those sessions where you are just sure that your T thinks you are either a) crazy or b) lame even though she insists that what you are telling her is perfectly normal when you know it's totally n-o-t. I mean, what's "normal" to a therapist can be very abnormal for the general public. Therapists have a very high tolerance for the abnormal. At least, so it seems or they are really good fakers.
Example: I told Dr. K today that I was afraid to take off my jacket even though I was hot. (Ahem, no, I will not go into further details, sorry.) It actually turned into a very long conversation about what's behind it and so on and so forth. At the end she assured me that she didn't think I was crazy or lame, but I have a sneaky suspicion that if we weren't in therapy and if I (or someone) told her that on the street, she would think it was at least weird - I'm convinced. So when a therapist tells me that I'm not crazy, I tend to take it with a grain of salt.
6 comments:
Haha, well right now it's 1am so I'm a bit behind you and here I am blogging! So you're not crazy or lame in that regard!!! If you are, I am!
And I agree, therapists and psychiatrists do have quite the tolerance for abnormality. I don't even want to begin to tell you the things I've admitted to my Dr K (Yes, mine is Dr. K too!) where she's told me that other people do such things. Ahh well. We know the real truth, don't we? So we'll just read the expression on their face and say, thanks Dr. K., that's all I need to know.
Reminds me of that new show "Lie to Me" (Good show btw) :)
That's a very interesting point about their tolerance level. I think you're right about that!
It's 5:22 am here! MUWAHAHAHA!
Ts and pdocs do have a high tolerance. I think that is what really bothered me sometimes about Marilyn. Sometimes things would be problems, but other times they wouldn't be. Just because it is a problem one week, the next week it could be just a little off. Whatever.
At least you were exploring why you felt the way you did. Figuring that out is important.
Take care! I know the blogging urge is strong at 2:30 am!
-kristin
I used to hug a throw pillow in front of me when I went to therapy. Once, while we were talking about something else, I consciously tried to put it down. I picked it up again after about three seconds. My doc didn't say a word.
well, behaviors like that are odd, but it's not bad or weird in a way with a negative connotation. I don't think so at all.
Ooh being brave and posting my first comment here, i hope you don't mind...
I don't think that its "normal" I think it's just normal for someone who has an eating disorder... make sense? Like a really random non-psychiatric example, its not normal for men to wear skirts, but it IS normal for a scotish man to wear a skirt while playing the bagpipes in appropriate settings!
So perhaps its not normal to wear a jacket while you're hot and perhaps the reasons for remaining in the jacket are not what is normal to the general "normal" population, but they ARE in the realm of normal for those people with ed's and distorted body image etc.
Shutting up now.
*hugs*
Telle
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