That was the take-home message of therapy yesterday.
Expect that life is hard:
When I don't expect things to be hard and then they are - I get frustrated and overwhelmed really easily. The GRE class for example. I knew that preparing for the test was going to take a lot of work, but I didn't expect to struggle with the concepts so early in the game. Because I didn't expect it and it caught me by surprise, it made things more frustrating than if I had gone in with the attitude that this is going to be hard and expecting to struggle a little bit. Dr. K reminded me that my learning curve for the GRE isn't going to be a straight line going up - there will be ups and downs. When I expect the downs, I don't get discouraged so easily. The same thing goes for recovery. When you expect the downs, you can deal with them more easily.
Accept that life is hard:
This is a big problem for me. It's a cold, hard truth that life is hard, but I don't want to believe it. I fight it tooth and nail. I don't want to accept it. But when I don't accept it, it makes things harder for me. Instead of fighting against something that will not change, I need to accept the truth and move on. If I'm constantly fighting it, I can't deal with it. Not accepting that life is hard becomes a stumbling block. Instead, I need to embrace it.
Embracing the fact that life is hard brings peace and understanding. I know that this is something that I need to work on. I want to be able to go with the flow and not fight life's natural rhythm. "Just be" - that's the saying, right? :)
Life is hard. Expect it.
Life is hard. Accept it.
13 comments:
Great post!
Thanks, JB!
Yeah, I guess that's the saying but I don't like it too much. ;)
This post is fantastic and really rings true for me today.
I totally needed this post! This is my biggest problem - I can't accept it. I can't accept that how I feel everyday/all the injustices that occur/everything, is life. And will continue to be my life. But great post, it got me thinking :) Hope you are doing well sweetie.
xoxo
Good post, indeed!
Personally, I'm pretty good with the expecting part, not so good with the accepting part. Okay. I'm freaking terrible with the accepting part.
Great post indeed. It's NOT and easy concept, or fun, but when I do try to take that perspective it does make things easier. With that in mind, though, one of the reasons it's easier is because when we think about the grand scheme of things, both you and I know that ultimately it all works out in the end.
I just remembered that you "tagged" me. I still need to do that.
Kara, thanks for this! It really is a great post, and so very true.
Having this perspective really can make all the difference. Accepting and expecting the difficulties along the way really helps us to cope when times get rough. Cause we just know that it's all part of the great and "wonderful" learning process of life!
Being prepared for the good and the hard helped me survive grad school....cause i knew there'd be times i felt that i couldn't hack it. and you know what? when those times did come, i took it in stride, got help where i needed, and let myself be okay with giving my best effort. and yes, i graduated....and you're gonna make it too!! :)
Thankyou for this post ...its like you were talking to me today....
Love, Z
true. good for you for breaking it down like that. The way you wrote it was clear and focused.
Very cool hunni. I think its hard when we hear things we don't want to even when we know they're true.
There is this saying by Amy Carmichael that goes, "The reward of good and hard work is more good and hard work!" This isn't because we're in trouble but because we have more wisdom, ability and experience!
You can do it Kara, to me you seem to be learning and developing consistently and you don't like going round in circles.
Very cool girl!
Like some others, I totally anticipate the challenges, usually imagining some others that are even more difficult, but I get really stuck at the "accept" part.
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