On a totally different note, I wanted to share a way of thinking that has helped me. Lately, my self-destructive urges have been getting more intense and more frequent. When I get the urge to do something, I tell myself that I'll do it tomorrow. When I say, "I'll do it tomorrow," I am giving myself time to cool down and have the urge pass, knowing that I can still act on it later if I want to. This permission to do it later is key for me. If I just tell myself flat out that I can never do X, it makes me want to do it even more. Often times I have to tell myself that I'll do it tomorrow over and over and over again - countering that urge every second. But, by the time the next day rolls around, often times I don't want to act out anymore. If I still do, I use the same method. I tell myself that I'm not going to do it now, but that if I still want to do it later, I can. "I'll do it tomorrow." (This might not help everyone and for some people may backfire, but it really helps me.)
Sunday, February 8, 2009
I'll Do It Tomorrow
On Friday night I got all geared up to watch my fave show, "Say Yes to the Dress." However, to my infinite dismay, it was not on. Instead a new show was on called "Toddlers in Tiaras." Sounds horrible, I know, but I decided to watch it and it blew my mind. Like the name suggests, it was all about toddlers in beauty pageants. It was sick. The little four year olds had make-up caked on their faces, fake eyelashes, and some even got spray-tanned! Who spray tans a toddler??? That is wrong on so many levels. Okay, I have to stop thinking about this. Just like clowns are scary, I have little made-up toddler demons dancing in my head... Shake it off. Shake it off. (I was going to post a pic of a beauty pageant toddler, but than I decided that I'd leave that horror up to your imagination.)
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12 comments:
Kara,
Thats what I do when I have the urge to to do destructive behaviors ( ie.. purge) I just keep putting it off for five min or sometimes even one min at a time. Its a wonderful tactic ...I never say I am not allowed to do it cause then I will ... but by putting it off Iam telling myself its okay and by the end of teh hour or two the urge has passed and I am still in recovery...as for teh toddler beauty pagents well can I just say horror above all horrors,,,my mother entered my little sister in one when she was three and we were unpreparede for how "dolled" up the other little girls would be..it was horrific to watch and even more horrific to watch the mothers...grossy
Love, Z
yep. I love the "later" rule. 15 minutes, followed by another 15 minutes, or later tonight, or, really, whenever, as long as it's not right now.
It's nice to hear that other people do this too.
I do the same thing! works very well... I just say you can do it in an hour...and then another hour and so on. Sometimes it doesn't work, but sometimes it does, so a strategy that is helpful even sometimes is a successful one in my book!
That's and interesting idea, maybe I'll try that. I watched that toddlers in Tiaras too. Did you watch the one last week where the mom's competed in the competition too against their own daughters. It was pretty messed up. I like watching 17 kids and counting too. That woman is crazy for having all those kids.
I'm glad you guys do the "I'll do it tomorrow" thing too - I thought it might be kinda weird.
i think it's a wonderful way of dealing with urges! i am totally for the "ill do it tomorrow"...it reminds me on a much smaller and immediate scale what nicole always says about trying something (recovery, sobriety, positive affirmations, whatever) for a year. if at the end of that time you don't like where you are, you always have the option of going back. your way just breaks it down into the much more mangeable 'one day at a time' thing for me. THANK YOU!
That's just wrong in so many ways. (the toddlers thing)
I like your little game plan there. Hey, whatever works, right!!
I caught part of the Toddler and Tiaras episode and didn't find it appealing. In college, I wrote a paper on child beauty pageants and the "male gaze," so I'm familiar with what goes on behind the scenes.
Yeah for you finding strategies that work. I've done similar things as well, and putting it off in this case is helpful.
Hey K,
Something similar like that helps me, too. I used to be a big SI'er, but I don't do that anymore. However, the urges are still there. Not as intensely, but they come. I always say, if I still want to do (bad thing) in an hour, then I can. But in the meantime, I force myself to use positive coping mechanisms I've learned from my T, especially the ones that are geared towards reducing anxiety. If I really, truly do the exercises, then EVERY SINGLE TIME, when an hour passes, I don't want to SI.
Good for you! I'm proud...
xo
I think that's a great strategy. I myself use the "15 minute rule" but this is even better.
love it.
OMG I saw Toddlers & Tiaras too - I couldn't believe it. It literally made me sick to my stomach! I am proud of you for refraining from your ED behaviors. I truly believe that all we can ask of ourselves is to take it day by day. So I totally get it hun. Love ya lots. xoxo
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