Freak-Out Monster

Stress is not my friend. It never has been and it never will be. Stress does not make me work harder, it paralyzes me. When I'm too stressed, I get overwhelmed and can't function. I do everything - obsess, calculate, scrutinize, obsess, obsess, obsess - except for taking steps to reduce the stress.

Stress = Kara the Freak-Out Monster

Current Stressor = The Looming GRE Take 2 (August 12)

Instead of studying and attending the second GRE class for the last several weeks, in preparation for the GRE on August 12, I've instead been doing N O T H I N G. Nadda. Haven't cracked a book or wiped the dust off my flashcards. Why? Because Kara the Freak-Out Monster has settled in and I'm p-a-r-a-l-y-z-e-d to the m-a-x. The test is less than two weeks away and I've done - eek - nothing....

...until TODAY!!!!!! The clouds are parting and the sun is just ever so slightly beginning to fight it's way out. What is the cause of this miracle? I signed up for one-on-one tutoring and had my first session this afternoon and - drum roll please - I decided to push back the date of the test. I mean seriously, why am I pressuring myself to take the test on August 12 when I'm clearly not going to be ready. I do want to try to take it before September 8th when I start my internship - but I definitely have room to push the test back a few weeks. I always box myself into a corner like this and get really rigid with my thinking - for example thinking that August 12 is the only day in the entire world that I can take the test. Changing my test day, although probably is not thinking out of the box for most people, is thinking outside of the box and fighting rigidity for me.

Rigidity - Just Say No!

Although the clouds are beginning to cover the sun again and the stress is starting to overtake me once more, I know that it's going to be more managable because:

1. I took action (I actually went to my tutoring session today and cracked open the book).
2. I made a decision (To push back the test date).

Realization Part 1: DECISION + ACTION = EMPOWERMENT

Realization Part 2: EMPOWERMENT decreases STRESS. I need to remember that taking action and doing something productive (even if that means changing the timetable) helps decrease my stress, unlike doing nothing and obessing and frantic nail-biting and hair pulling.

I'm still stressed, but I can now say good-bye to Kara the Freak-Out Monster. Now it's just Mini Me.