This is what is causing me so much anxiety:
Don't get me wrong, it's a really cute outfit. If you look closely, you can even see the glittery texture on the shirt. The skirt is made out of this shiny satin material. I really like it. So what's the problem? I have issues dressing up. Some girls feel beautiful when they dress up - I, on the other hand, feel FAT. I'm terrified of occasions where I have to wear something besides my sweats. I have to wear this outfit to a black tie wedding in a week and a half.
Me + Dressing up + This outfit + Black tie wedding = Red Alert = LOSE WEIGHT
I know it's the ED talking, but I've been sucked in and this is how I feel.
Whenever there is a "red alert" in my life, whether it's dressing up for a black tie wedding, having a hard time studying for the GRE, or being overwhelmed by an emotion that I don't want to feel, I want to lose weight.
So.... Red Alert = Lose Weight
I know it's faulty thinking.... but I don't know if I'm ready to change it...
8 comments:
*huggles* I hate it when certain clothes make us feel a certain way. You can totally tell my mood by what I'm wearing. I struggle the most when I'm wearing something outside the context of that mood. Tonight I am wearing my pyjama top under my hoodie cause I need to feel cosy and a bit more invisible!!! (I mean I am going to a seminar, meeting the works and yes I will be wearing it!) I do sympathise hunni. You don't need a lecture you already know you need to change the thinking on that one, thats a great first step.
Randomly, I when I need to talk to my friend asap but not like "drop everything" kind of talk we call that "Red fire truck" kinda like the fire truck coming to put out all the smoke and flames!!! Just reminded me of that :).
be gentle with yourself hun, please?
Love Telly xo
Makes complete sense, Kara!! It really does.
Losing weight feels like the answer to everything (to me, too), but it's not. I know exactly where you are coming from.
Hang in there, Kara. Keep on reminding yourself that this is faulty thinking and your ED talking. And remember to breathe!
love, kristin
maybe red alert could equal something new. Like , red alert= herbal tea= hot bath, or something like that. Know that those self-destructive urges will be coming and plan to take extra good care of yourself. i know, easier said then done. When i am under stress, self care always seems to be the first to go. Have you read the book "Life without ED"? There is something in there about listening to what ed is saying, and choosing to disobey him. Crazy, i know. I think of it as just accepting that those urges are going to be there and knowing that just because they are there doesn't mean that you have to act upon them. Again, easier said then done. Hang in there :)
I was going to say something but I think LisaLisa said it for me. That girl has a lovely name, you know.
I am with you, I really don't enjoy dressing up. I never feel as pretty as the outfit I'm wearing or I wish I had worn something else. (ie. my wedding dress....what a disaster!!!!!!! Still embarressed about that one) I love that outfit and I know you'll look great in it. Be sure to tell yourself once in awhile that Sadie thinks your beautiful.
i definitely can identify with where you're coming from on this. for sure. but please try to believe me when i say that you will look beautiful!!! try to relax and enjoy the wedding and know that it will all be over soon! ;-) hang in there and call if you need to talk! or just want an excuse to get away for a little while!
I echo the others, be gentle with yourself, sweetie. You have a beautiful outfit to wear and I bet you're going to look stunning in it. :)
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