Last night was especially hard - there were tears and tears and tears. I needed to be comforted so badly so I wanted to call my therapist. But I decided not to because I didn't deem wanting to be comforted as a good enough reason to call. I have issues with calling my therapist. I am very selective about when I call her, partially because I hate the phone, partially because I don't want to bother her after hours, and partially (maybe mostly) I don't want to be that needy patient who calls all the time.
Instead of calling my T, I decided that I needed to get out of the big lonely house. Even though it was late, I went to Border's to look around (and got some awesome porcelain coasters on sale for $1.06 by the way) and then I went to a movie. I saw District 9 and it was a pretty good distraction, but as soon as it was over I started crying again. This is more than I've cried in my entire life! I'm not a big crier.
Well, that's all for now folks. I've been up all night (yay insomnia!) so I'm going to take a quick nap before work.
5 comments:
Yes it is profound. Please call your T or at least let them know what you are going through via Email. They might have suggestions. It might be they need to work on your dosage. Remeber they are in this business for a reason and calling them or emailing them is ok. Let them tell you if your going over the bounderies. That said I'm total with you, I hate calling my T or even emailing her. But it's her job and she does it well. Sometime's just writing it out helps.
District 9, not great but a good diversion like you said. And good buy on the coasters, I hope you enjoy them. I've been getting the little quotable magnets lately. They are fun.
I'm sorry you're having to deal with such intense sadness. I think it's really great that you went to Border's and to District 9, though! Really - go you!
You don't need to have anything profound to blog about. Ha - I blog about random nothingness all the time :)
wow, that sounds like kind of an extreme reaction! I'm not questioning your therapist, but I have never heard of klonipin doing that. Maybe you should call your doc. I'm really glad you did what you needed to do and got out of the house. And i'm jealous because I want to see District 9 really bad. I love alien movies for some reason, and also movies that depict a possible future. For some reason that sort of thin fascinates me.
That is a lot of crying. I'm sorry. If it continues, definitely call Dr. K and make sure you're not having a really bad reaction.
I hope you feel better. I'm on fb late at night if you ever want to talk.
Take care and feel better!
love, kristin
Hang in there, girl. Another idea: when I have built up emotion I write everything down in pen as fast and as furious as thoughts come to my head... free. Then I throw it away. It just gets it all out. I don't know if typing does the same thing, but a pen makes my hand tired, which always feels appropriate!!! :) I love you.
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