For the last two weeks and especially in the last week my eating has been OUT OF CONTROL. I'm eating like a friggin' rabid pig. It's gross. And I can't stop. Ugh. It's awful. I've been trying to figure out why this is happening and I have four ideas:
1. It's the holidays and we have a plethora of junk food in the house.
2. I just stopped taking my birth control about two weeks ago so my hormone levels have changed.
3. It's a self fulfilling prophecy. I'm so terrified that I'm going to binge during the holidays like I did last year that I'm making it happen.
4. I'm just a FAT PIG.
Any thoughts?
Because I totally flipped out this weekend about my ENORMOUS food intake (that's putting it nicely), I e-mailed my new dietitian and asked if we could have an emergency appointment before Christmas. She e-mailed me back yesterday and said we could meet tomorrow at noon. I hope she can help me out. I'm desperate!
Job status: I found another restaurant in the area that is hiring right now so I'm going to go over and apply today. I know I've asked you to cross your fingers a lot for me, but if you could do it again, I'd very much so appreciate it.
9 comments:
Ty Chobani yogurt, it's cheaper than the other yogurts. Just don't get the plain because that's really nasty.
Glad you like J and that she is able to meet with you this week.
I just got blueberry Chobani yogurt at the store!
How do you think working at a restaurant would impact your ED? It's something you should think about. I don't know your ED history or job history or food industry history, but I know that combining the two can be recipe for disaster. But I am wishing you luck.
I'm glad you like your dietitian. That's important. I like mine. I HATE talking about food and eating all that, but she's cool. She's just good to talk to, even when I'm not ready to take suggestions she makes...
Hang in there!
I will say from firsthand experience that birth control (changing brands, going on and off it) has a HUGE impact on body weight, water retention, hormones, etc. so you need to give it at LEAST 2-3 months before you will feel "normal." I think that might have a lot to do with how you are feeling. I think it is great you are working with a dietician - it almost makes me want to find one and that is a mircale in itself :)
Just keep fighting the strong ED thoughts - I know it's hard honey but I know you can do it. The hormones really play such a large role I promise. Give it a month or two and I really think it will level out and you will feel much better.
Thinking of you,
Jackie xoxo
P.S. Good luck with the job search - keep us updated :)
Yay for Greek yogurt and understanding dieticians. Nay for holidays with scads of homeless junk food and triggering environments. Be patient with yourself, you will get through it. I'm thinking about ya, and my fingers are triple crossed for the new job prospect!!
JB - Thanks for your concern about me working at a restaurant. My therapist talked to me about the same thing. However, I've had jobs in the food industry before and I've been okay so I'm not too worried, but I'll be careful. Thanks!
How did you like the yogurt. I just had a peach one.
I loved the yogurt! I got blueberry and it was fantastic. I'm going to buy some more tomorrow.
I'm a big fan of Fage Greek yogurt. The protein is through the roof and even the low- and no-fat varieties are creamier than most (American?) yogurt.
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