So you know how I've been on the job hunt? So far, none of the jobs I've applied for have given me that "I-really-hope-I-get-this-job-because-it-sounds-cool" feeling - that is, until NOW. Now there is a job that I really want. Let me start at the beginning...
Three weeks ago: My friend, Laura, passed on my resume to a company that she had an "in" with. It's a company that has computer software to help doctors write and submit grant proposals.
Everyday since then: I haven't heard anything from the company. I assumed they weren't interested.
On Wednesday night: Someone from the company called me - yay! He wanted to do an impromptu interview on the phone - yikes. I was NOT ready for an impromptu interview on the phone. I have to get mentally prepared for these types of things - you know, suppress my inner crazy. But I had no choice but to plow forward with the interview. How did it go you ask? Ridiculously horrific. I don't think a single cohesive sentence came out of my mouth. I was bumbling around like a blind person with rabies frantically searching for a toenail in a mountain of rice - not a pretty picture. When I didn't know what else to say (which was often), I automatically repeated myself - not a good tactic for making a good impression. When the painfully long interview was over, he said he was going to e-mail me a questionnaire and asked when I would be available for another interview. Another interview?! Thank my lucky stars - he must have been on another planet when he was interviewing me because the interview I gave did not deserve a "thank you for your time" much less a callback interview. After I hung up, I opened the questionnaire - since when does the word "questionnaire" imply essay questions??? It took me three hours to complete! But I finished it that night and e-mailed it back to him pronto. Now I've been waiting... and hoping and praying that he'll keep his word and call me back for a second interview. I REALLY want this job. So everyone please send me good vibes and cross your fingers that I'll get a second interview.
This is a small glimmer of hope in my life - the rest of it is filled with FATNESS. Part of me wishes that I wouldn't care so much about my body and my weight, but I'm afraid that if I didn't (1) I would have to spend time thinking about real, scary things and (2) I would end up being fat forever. And I don't want that. Period.
6 comments:
I will pray for you. Good luck!
Fingers are crossed for you dear! I'll bet your interview didn't suck. You probably just think it did. :)
Hey, good luck! I'm going to be doing the Anxious-Job-Seeker-Jitterbug in a couple of month myself and I'm not looking forward to it.
And that "toenail in a mountain of rice" image made me giggle. I think your essays were just fine.
congratulations on the good interview! You clearly aren't giving yourself the credit you deserve - if you had done poorly, they wouldn't be wanting to hear more from you! Maybe you criticize yourself too harshly when your nervous? Either way, I hope you get the job!!
You kill me! I love it! You are wonderful and I love you! About the FATNESS thing, It made me sad to read that. But heres why and I am sure its off base but I don't care. I think we all have to come to terms with ourselves and what we think is "skinny", "healthy", whatever. But not because of what we see on models but how we really see ourselves. I see myself at about 150-60 but in reality, I am about 200. I'm working out and eating right and one day, I hope I am where I see myself. But its not about thinking I'm fat or not skinny enough, I just don't feel healthy! I feel like I could feel better if I just took better care of my body. I know this is a topic that has made a big place in your life and while I don't understand just how it effects you, I know you are strong. I've seen you be strong and I have felt your strenghth. Take that step into life, you'll find its not that scary! But take your time and do what you need to do to feel comfortable. Thats what matters. I love you girl!
GOOD LUCK sweetie!!! It sounds like they are interested in hiring you - keep us updated! I am sending you good vibes! xoxo
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