Sunday, January 17, 2010
3am
I thought it was going to be great to have the house all to my self this weekend - but the truth is I'm lonely. It's tough to be alone with your thoughts. I've been trying all day to wash away my loneliness with Dexter, Gmail, Facebook, work, food, and FML, but it's after 3am and nothing is working. I should probably just go to bed. But it's funny....I always want to be physically alone, but when I am, I just sink farther into my head. On the other hand, when I'm with people, I often feel detached and mentally alone. The thing is - I don't know if I want to get out of my head or if I want to be happy or if I want to recover.... it's all just so scary. Okay, I can feel the cry-myself-to-sleep tears coming on so I'm just going to read a few more FMLs and go to bed. Goodnight.
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3 comments:
Right there with you. Well not cause then you wouldn't be alone, but,, well you get the point. When I'm with people I have to be "on". Have to give them something that I'm not. But after 20 years of alone I'm much more used to it. Still sometimes late at night it sucks.
I've had my blog for over a year and this is the first time I've gotten a spam comment - unfortunately this was a nasty sex one.
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