I'm a broken record. Dr. K agrees. I keep playing the same song over and over. I tell myself every day that "today will be different," and "I'm not going to do ____ ED behaviors anymore." I wake up every morning with good intentions and then something snaps during the day and I literally don't care about withstanding the pressures of ED. That's what I don't understand - how can just not care anymore? I don't know why I have that on/off switch. It's like I relapse every day. The ED song is on repeat and even if I try to change it to another song, the record breaks and it's back to ED.
What I need to do is put on a different record. But how....
6 comments:
Well, the first step is at least recognizing it - and you're doing that - it might seem like a small step, but at least *it is* a step. Keep going!
I know what you mean- it's just such a hard cYcle to break out of. Keep trying, that's all I can say. And Brie is right; at least you are recognizing it :)
I tell myself the exact same thing. Every. Single. Day. Sometimes "today" is different. It's those "todays" that gives me hope that tomorrow will continue to be just as good. When you have a good day, hang onto it for dear life.
Humm... maybe you need to change the cd/record player not just the disc?? And by that I don't mean changing your team or your personality...but maybe you need to change the whole tactic??
Keep on trying though, every day IS a new day, every minute, hour, day, week, month, year, are NEW opportunities, just for you, YOU CAN DO IT!!! xoxo
I wish I could tell you how to stop it, Kara. Keep working!!
oh, the cycle is so awful. I know how you feel. Are you feeling guilty? For me it's the guilt that holds me in the cycle. Once I finally release the guilt and choose to live in the present (meaning I am not thinking at all about yesterday while eating today), I am able to break the cycle.
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