I've really been searching for the past few weeks for words to describe the way that I feel. I feel like things are changing. I haven't been in the mood to do anything. I just watch mindless television... I haven't posted in a week... I just haven't known what to say. But as I was reading one of
my favorite blogs the other day, the author used the exact word that I've been looking for:
hibernation. Although I'm desperate for help, I'm blocking people out, isolating, and am hopeless. I just want to go away.
So, I am in HIBERNATION. I don't know what to say to you all, to my friends, to my family, to my therapist... I feel like I just don't know what to say anymore. I've really reached a hopeless point.
I guess this is my attempt at reaching out, wanting connection and understanding because I know you get it all. I'm sorry I've been a bad friend to a lot of people lately, but I'm slowly trying to change my ways and let the light in.
5 comments:
Awa, don't worry about that, we all get that way sometimes. A little hibernation is not a bad thing sometimes. Of course I am not good at all at socialization. My therapist assigned me to group to try and socialize me. I quit it after making my anger management group mad :-(
hi k,
so sorry you feel this way - obviously you know that i do, too, and it's hard. it's hard to find the balance between wanting healthy alone time v. extreme isolation. my therapist tells me that i'll never recover if i isolate, because interacting with people and the world keeps the secrets of the disorder at bay. please stay strong and i will too, okay?
♥ to you.
Winter does this to me, too. Something about all the darkness, the cold, and just how damn TIRED it makes you - like EA said, hibernation is not always a bad thing. And the Snowpocalypse/Snomageddon/Snowverkill isn't helping, either.
It's so hard to force yourself into socializing when your whole being just wants to be back on the couch. You just have to trust that getting out there really does help.
I feel like there is so many layers between us now, because of this hibernation. And that sucks. :(
It's hard to get out in the world, I know, but the more you do it, the easier they say it is. I'll be doing this experiment very soon, so I'll let you know if it's true!
Hug. Let the light in. It's a good thing. Unless...you sparkle like a Stephanie Meyer vampire.
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